Friday, April 2, 2010
Poor Admiral Robert Williard had to go before the House Armed Services Committee this past week. He went as the head of US Pacific Command -- but he left as a defender of common sense and geology.
The cause of his title shift? Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), who was worried that the US Navy's decision to station an additional 8,000 personnel and their families on the island of Guam would, well, perhaps you need to see it for yourself:
This is a rare occurrence for me, but for commentary, I must defer to the National Review:
"Presumably, when you're the head guy of a major fleet for a big-time navy, you've got plenty of other ways of filling your time other than reassuring congressmen on whether miscellaneous land masses are likely to tip over and sink."Only in America my friends!
In all fairness, Rep. Johnson's office released the following statement,
"The subtle humor of this obviously metaphorical reference to a ship capsizing illustrated my concern about the impact of the planned military buildup on this small tropical island."I'm not buying it, and I doubt it will be enough to free him from the mockery of that series of tubes we call the internets.
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2 comments:
My theory on how this all came about:
1. Rep. Johnson is asked by Guam residents to ask tough questions about the Navy base increase.
2. Rep. Johnson's Leg. Director passes the issue off to an intern to investigate.
3. The intern started off as a Fall intern but carried over into Spring out of sheer inertia, because no one realized he'd been there that long.
4. The intern frantically searches the interwebs for reasons why this could be a bad idea. Unfortunately he has two and a half hours to research before leaving at 3pm to reserve (read: squat on) a field on the Mall for his congressional softball team.
5. The next morning, everyone is too busy talking about that night's Sweet 16 matchups to realize that the intern's research is drawn entirely from Gawker.com.
6. The intern's draft questions get to Rep. Johnson minutes before the hearing, tucked in page 6.
7. Rep. Johnson starts reading the questions, realizes they make little sense.
8. Rep. Johnson completes the questions because a) he realizes the environmental question is actually somewhat legit, b) he's never been known as a quitter, and c) like me, he couldn't find a decent cup of coffee in Rayburn before the hearing.
There you go -- flawless historical reenactment explains all.
Thanks for the post! Everyone on island is making canoes just in case! =p
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