Friday, February 5, 2010

This Week in Weird: Funding your own Conventional Force; or, How I learned to stop worrying and love the Internet.

Have you ever woken up and said to yourself, "how am I ever going to equip my conventional forces?" Feel better, we here at D&D have found your answer. Even if you are not a state, rebel group, or even paramilitary organization, you can still build up your air force, mechanized units, and force-projecting capabilities.

First up: AIR POWER
Surf over to Aero Kros, and start shopping! Perhaps you can elbow your way into the deal that Kit found over email:

Subject: Offer MIG

Dear Christopher

We have the following aircrafts and engine for sale:

1. MIG-21 UM jet plane ( without engine), year of manufacturing 1980, priced at EUR 20000

2. engine R11F2SK-300 , priced at EUR 10000

The planes were retired in the years 2003-2004 and their total flying time amounts to about 1000- 1655 hours respectively. Their airworthiness is contingent upon overhauling

Supersonic air power? Check!
Or, if you want to go old school on your enemies, you can buy a MAN-LIFTING WAR KITE.

Next up: ARMOR...

Do you have the men, but not the armored mechanized units to move and support them? Isn't it annoying? Now your answers can be found on our favorite comic-sans fonted site. That's right, tanks-for-sale is a UK based website that can put anything from a Russian T-82 to a armored portable field kitchen into your arsenal -- most don't even require you to upgrade your driver's licence!

Or, are you in the marked for an Army of the Future? Well, your answer can be found here. That's right, boys and girls, you could be the proud owner of your very of MECH. Sure, it only goes 1 mile an hour, but if I saw a 10 foot tall fighting robotic suit coming at me, I would probably fall over -- allowing you to squash me with your futuristic battle companion.

Finally: SPECIAL FORCES INSERTION
This may be the trickiest tool set for any would-be supreme commander. How ever will you get your special operators from the sky to the ground to prepare the battle environment for your tank corps? Well, you could go here and buy your very own wingsuits, but how will your soldiers move over the terrain? What if they have to walk on water, or leap tall buildings? Then you will need to supply them with cyborg kangaroo skips, and water walking balls. Or, you could just have your Special Forces crank their personal hovercrafts up to bunny speed.

And there you go -- Air Power, Armored Corps, and Special Forces well equipped, all through the Internet. That's right, you don't even need to get off your couch! I don't know about you, but with all this stuff out there, I may be building my own personal fallout shelter in the backyard -- not to mention buying this simple "terrorist detector".

Good Luck to Us All!

2 comments:

Matt said...

Just a word to the wise, from my experience the kangaroo skips are not safe for use INSIDE the water walking balls. My men had a terrible accident trying to infiltrate Suriname's coastal fortifications....never again.

Jeff Schneider said...

Thank you for the valuable input sir! I shall alert my majors immediately to call off "operation bouncy trouncy".

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